Here Be Lions
Here Be Lions Podcast
Money, Money, Money
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Money, Money, Money

must be funny... how to be safe and stable enough to make art

First, I should say that this is a newsletter about money. Specifically, artists and money. And even more specifically, women or non-binary or queer folks and money. But it is also for anyone, anywhere who feels disempowered because of money.

LISTEN TO THE MONEY PLAYLIST

If you are totally fine with money, this newsletter is not for you. Just wait for next month where I will be back on track with an essay about love :)

I will also mention that this world is facing a financial situation unprecedented since 2008—inflation was already at a 40-year high and has now increased even more. Gas prices are ridiculous. Rent in Denver is seeing record spikes. If you’re feeling strapped, stressed, scared, or just completely panicked—you have every right to feel that way. Gone are the days of the Patti Smith Just Kids sort of poverty. Even that bleak portrayal of the starving artist is not possible anymore. We can’t just wing it.

Why am I talking and thinking about money now? Recently I moved from Denver to Olympia, Washington and it is triggering some memories from the first time I moved to the Pacific Northwest when I was 23. So, I am going to first tell a story about my relationship with money and then I am going to go into practical tips and tricks. If you just want the action items, read ahead! If you want to hear a story, listen to the podcast (I didn’t type it up).

I think money is the most important thing, women, queers, and artists are ignoring and I believe it’s the one thing we can’t ignore.

But before we get to the money stuff—my friend Alyse wrote a book about Golden Eye (the video game) and it’s available for pre-order!

“It is the definitive history of GoldenEye 64, the 1997 hit video game for the Nintendo 64 based on the Bond film of the same name. If you love games, or know someone who does, or even if you're just a fan of an interesting story of teamwork in tech, this is a fun read about how a group of total rookies in the middle of nowhere, England broke every rule in the book to make one of the greatest games of all time.”

Alyse is talented AF. She writes poetry and has a podcast about Sappho and Queer Pirates.

You should pre-order her book!

Pre-Order Alyse Knorr's Book

Also, I was on a roadtrip this past week with my mom and it made me think of this audio essay I made about Carhenge. I hope you enjoy!

DISCLAIMERS:

My Face When I Think About Money
  • I am not trying to fight capitalism right now.

  • This is some politically passive shit.

  • This is me saying: on a crashing plane put your own god damn oxygen mask on first, because believe me, when I was 23, death seemed like the only way out of the disaster that financial disempowerment (along with intergenerational trauma) had wreaked. If you feel that way, you’re not alone and you can get help. You deserve your own breath, your own oxygen, your own life!

  • I am a privileged white woman. There is no getting around this fact. I went to an arts magnet school, that was free but provided me with a great education. I got a full scholarship to college through a program called The Daniels Fund. And even though I was eligible for free and reduced lunch, my mom still packed us lunches when she could. We were not in abject poverty. I can’t deny these privileges helped and still help me.

  • The truth is—you must make at least 40,000 dollars a year to just have a basic life. Like meet your needs. No travel. No classes, no extra money to put out your record or your zine or your book. But you need to make closer to 65/70 a year to have extra for savings. (I got this fact wrong in the podcast). That’s hard to come by these days! It’s not your fault, and you’re doing nothing wrong! It is legitimately harder to make ends meet today than it was when your parents graduated college. But in order to become financially solvent you might need to make some tough choices—like move in with your mom or your sister or sleep in your friend’s basement. It sucks and it’s not fair and I’m sorry!

  • I couldn’t become financially solvent without having a full time job with health care. I tried. I tried everything and I couldn’t make it work. So this is probably not the best guide for all the freelancers out there. Some people might consider it selling out BUT I have never in my life made more or better art than I have now with a steady and consistent job.

  • The moral of the story: not being financially solvent, not being able to pay your bills or find housing and constantly being afraid for your future impacts your decisions and your ability to be a person. You might be like me and stay in a toxic relationship because you literally feel that you have no way out, or you might not be able to invest in that zine you’ve always wanted to release or take that art class. Not being in control of your money gives away your power.

Virginia Woolf said it, Gloria Anzaldua said it—you need a room of your own, you need agency to do any work at all.

You need to be powerful, self-assured and safe in order to make great and daring art.

THE FIRST STEP:

Let that resentment go.

I remember being taunted in middle school because I wore clothes from the ARC on Broadway. This was before Macklemore made thrift stores cool. In high school everyone in the entire school went on an international trip except for a small group of ten or fifteen of us who couldn’t afford to go. So, while all our friends went to St. Petersburg or Mexico City we watched international films and ate Italian food. I saw Cinema Paradiso for the first time thanks to that experience. I will be forever changed by that film and that experience but when I was fifteen, in that dark theater? If you had touched me I would have incinerated you with my hatred and my resentment for everyone in my life who I felt had so much more.

In college there was this beautiful girl from California who was always traveling. I would obsessively gorge myself on her Facebook photos taken on yachts off the coast of Italy, her selfies in London. I think she was/is actually a very nice person, and I could have tried to be her friend if I stopped hating her for everything she had that I did not.

I wish I discovered earlier that some people really do have it easier than you and yes, that really sucks. I wish I had felt it, let it in and then let it go. Cause that shit will fester and transform you into a grotesque monster (spoken as someone who only recently let this go, and still gets flare ups from time to time). You may be a victim in a fucked-up society designed to keep you down, but that’s not going to help with details. Do not sacrifice any more of your power!

THE SECOND STEP:

Stop avoiding shit.

If you’re my friend, you know I have avoidant tendencies (I literally have 5-10 unread emails RIGHT NOW that cause me intense anxiety and guilt for not answering).

But DON’T AVOID your bank account. Don’t avoid the reality. Sit down with yourself, your sister, your super badass grandma and face the dark side.

THE THIRD STEP:

Mental health.

If I had seen a therapist while in my toxic relationship I guarantee I would have left them six months in. But guess what? My mental health was something I avoided.

LISTEN TO ME WHEN I SAY THIS:

Everyone needs a therapist. EVERYONE. I don’t care who you are. You need a therapist. It’s not a character flaw, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you or that you’re sick or a bad person. It just means you are human, and humans literally can’t do this alone. In the words of my grandmother, life is hard. So if you don’t have a therapist, get yourself to a therapist now.

If you’ve experienced any kind of trauma, especially sexual trauma, I promise that you need help and I promise it will get better and I promise that talking to someone is the first step.

I am currently medicated and in therapy and I can honestly say that I make better decisions for my well-being now than I did even a year ago.

You can find some subsidized, sliding scale or free therapy in Denver in the resources below.

Also, it’s worth noting that if you’ve been the victim of sexual assault, you can often receive free services.

THE FOURTH STEP:

Borrow 1,000 dollars from someone who loves you (doesn’t have to be a parent—someone out there loves you!)

I didn’t have this, but it would have made everything easier. The truth is—you can’t budget when you live paycheck to paycheck. If you know anyone, literally anyone, ask them to lend you a thousand dollars. Don’t worry! You’ll pay them back .

NOW FOR THE PRACTICAL SHIT:

Budget:

You need a Budget.

Like you really need a budget.

Like stop everything and make a budget now. Not a dream budget, but a real budget based on your REAL expenses.

Throw your credit cards in the trash. They’re a trap. ONLY USE YOUR DEBIT CARD. Or use cash.

I use this system and it’s very, very helpful. Basically it’s an envelope system. You take out a limited amount of cash based on your budget and only spend what’s in the envelope.

You can use some free apps for creating a budget like MINT, or you can use this app that I think is amazing: YNAB.

If you’re freelancer—get this book (or email me and I will send it to you)—it helps you learn to budget if you don’t have consistent paycheck.

But basically, the rule of thumb for freelancers is instead of saving month to month, you should save for six months, budget for six months and work from there. So how much is your rent for 6 months? Your car insurance? Your phone bill? Groceries? Fun money? Save that all and budget from there.

So, if you’re a freelancer, you might need to borrow more than 1,000 to get you on your feet—but remember what I said, don’t worry—you’ll pay your loving friend, sister, mom or neighbor back.

Debt:

If you have debt—don’t pay it all off right away if that means you won’t have any money leftover because then you will just get into more debt! It’s better to pay off your debt in chunks and have savings than it is to throw all your money at it and not save anything. Remember, no credit cards!

Books about money:

You’ll probably always struggle with money until you heal your money wounds. For me, I often spend money as if I were that twelve-year-old at Slavens Middle School being made fun of for my thrift store clothes. Or I spend money like I’m still that girl sitting alone in the theater at Denver School of The Arts when all of her friends are all over the world. No matter how many beautiful clothes I buy, how many trips I go on, I will never fill that void with money. You could see the whole world, you could travel to 18 countries a year, but if you feel empty or if you hate yourself (as I have) you will never fill that void. You need to face your dark side of your insecurities in order to get on the right side of money.

Vice versa, are you someone who feels like you’re broke when you have six months emergency money in your bank account? Do you feel strapped for funds when, in reality, you’re doing okay and can make your payments on time? Maybe it’s okay to let a little loose and release yourself from the story that you’re broke when you’re really not?

Here is some reading I’ve found helpful to heal my money wounds:

Mental Health:

  • The People’s House—I met my therapist here and I paid him $20! At the time it felt like a HUGE financial commitment to pay $20 a session—but I am so grateful for the experience.

  • Maria Droste—Affordable counseling in Denver.

Medical Care:

  • I was in a lot of medical debt and I wish that someone had told me that you can negotiate with hospitals! You can literally set up a payment plan for ten dollars a month! Don’t get a credit card to pay for your medical bills! It’s a scam and evil.

  • The Center in Denver can help you find health insurance if you’re struggling. They helped me!

Free Financial Advice

  • Savvy Ladies is marketed towards cis women, so I understand if it’s off-putting, but they offer FREE consultation services with a financial planner and they offer a lot of classes to help you learn about budgeting, buying your first home and finding healthcare etc…

  • Gaby Dunn has a great podcast called BAD WITH MONEY.

  • A free forum to learn and discuss financial questions.

All my love!

Sammie

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