Hi!
Anyone else spent this last year obsessed with death? No, just me?
Seriously though, if you've spent much of this year in a panic, afraid that you're going to lose everyone you've ever loved--this newsletter is for you!
I’ve created a Toolkit for the Death Obsessed :)
I wrote an essay about death and gardening
I compiled a list of the best writing, music and film I’ve seen in the last year that speaks to death:
In my effort to stave off death I’ve mired myself in all things macabre over the last few months. The truth is, though, that pretty much every piece of art ever made is about death, life and wasted time. Turns out death and life are universal to the human experience, who knew?! All of that is to say, I’ve taken A LOT of liberties with this list.
Also, to put SOME limits on myself, I’ve only included things I’ve read or watched within the last calendar year.
Fecundity by Annie Dillard- “This is the way the world is, altar and cup, lit by the fire from a star that has only begun to die. My rage and shock at the pain and death of individuals of my kind is the old, old mystery, as old as man but forever fresh and completely unanswerable.”
The Death of the Moth by Virginia Woolf- I read this in high school during the dawn of my death panic and have never been the same. I recently read it again it hit differently, but it was just as powerful.
For the Last American Buffalo by Steve Scafidi- Damn! This poem! I would make it my anthem if I could.
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro- I read this while recovering from a surgery in which pieces of several organs were removed and honestly, it hit a little too close to home. That being said, there might never be a book more perfect than this.
My God, It’s Full of Stars by Tracy K Smith- “Perhaps the great error is believing we’re alone,”
Placeholders for a Father [Found During His Mother’s Funeral] by Samantha Lee Deal- her poetry bores into your frame.
Circe by Madeline Miller- You might think this is an odd choice, but I think the end really tied up what it means to be alive. Also, I totally wrote this book off because it’s SO popular and I judged it as a mom-book. But in actuality, I found it to be transformative.
A Children’s Bible by Lydia Millet- Let’s take care of the world, okay?
Film and TV
One Night in Miami- I cried like a baby when this film ended. What are we going to do with our one and only life?
Sylvie’s Love- “Life’s too short to waste time doing things you don’t absolutely love.”
The Phone Call- I was recently talking to a friend about how I don’t risk failure anymore, and is there anything as important to life and love than willing to lay yourself bare and accept all consequences?
I’m Thinking of Ending Things- What a beautiful, stunning mind fuck. Please watch it and tell me what you think!!!
Cinema Paradiso- probably the best movie of all time. It’s been my favorite since I was fifteen but I also rewatched it with my partner during the beginning of the pandemic. Such an important exploration into what we lose when we grow up and what we must shed in order to follow our dreams.
Nomadland- if you do one thing this week, watch this movie.
Only Lovers Left Alive- what better way to defy death than to become a vampire?!
I made a playlist about death and life and missing chances and the terrible sadness of not living life to the fullest.
Full disclosure I do actually love each and every one of these songs but yes, it IS supposed to be kind of funny.
Listen to the Playlist of Doom!!!!
Writing Exercise
I made a poem compiled from the lyrics of this playlist. Please make your own and send them to me!
There are two rules to the game:
You can’t spend longer than ten minutes on the piece. Set a timer and what comes out is what comes out. Let go of perfection and just be silly!
You can’t add any words or lines—the entire piece must be comprised solely of lyrics.
Action Item: Addressing the deaths of Black and brown people at the hands of police.
Please donate to this organization:
Queer Detainee Empowerment Project:
“The Queer Detainee Empowerment Project (QDEP) assists folks coming out of immigration detention in securing structural, health/wellness, educational, legal, and emotional support and services. We work to organize around the structural barriers and state violence that LGBTQIA TS & GNC detainee/undocumented folks face related to their immigration status, race, sexuality, and gender expression/ identity.
We are committed to assisting folks in building lives outside of detention, to breaking down the barriers that prevent folks from building fulfilling and productive lives, and to keeping queer families intact by demanding an end to deportations/ detention/ policing. We believe in creating a narrative of thriving, not just surviving.”